A Feeling of Listlessness

Amanda Bussman
3 min readAug 29, 2022
Photo by Mishal Ibrahim on Unsplash

Do you ever feel like you have no idea what you’re doing?
— like life is one big game that you can’t really figure out how to get a hold of no matter how hard you try? You go to school for years and wonder afterward if it was the wrong decision. You have a relationship with your family that is just unsustainably rocky. No matter what you do or how hard you try there is nothing you feel good enough for.

I have been in this rut for years.

At 32 you’re supposed to have it all figured out.

When you get less than 100 years to live and both of your parents died at fairly early ages you, in many ways, see 32 as it being half over. What do you have to show for that when you have literally nothing?

Most 32-year-olds have houses and kids.

I have a room that doesn’t belong to me, dreams that I don’t know will ever come true, and a knack for creativity that I can’t seem to actually figure out how to organize and harness.
— I have no idea what I'm doing.

I want to figure out how to make myself happy and find a life that’s going to be sustainable for the next 20/30 years. I don’t even know how to set goals for myself anymore. What direction to even put myself in to pull myself out of this funk.

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Amanda Bussman

If you're looking for a writing coach and someone who is working through generational trauma, you've come to the right place. OH! I hope you like Taylor Swift!