Cutting Ties; Family Relations Aren’t Always Positive.

Amanda Bussman
6 min readDec 4, 2021
Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash

Back in August I made the decision to disengage from a negative familial situation. This was a decision that was not made lightly and one that I highly struggled with. There was a breaking point where I couldn’t handle it anymore and it was negatively impacting my mental health. The decision I made was one I made to better my own health.

Before I really get into this, I just wanted to say that if you’re in a situation that is harmful to you mentally it’s okay to leave. Family can be difficult. We are conditioned to believe that we need to put those who share our blood above all others. You see everywhere that family is supposed to be everything.

What about when it’s toxic?

Let me give a bit of background:

I am the youngest of three.

My sisters are 14 and 12 years my senior.

Before you go on thinking that I was the “oops” baby, I was the child that was tried for. The one that they struggled to conceive.

Honestly, I was probably the child they never should have had.

My parents passed away 11 and 7 years ago. My mother died of a combind heart attack and stroke when I was 20. My father struggled with addiction and depression for four straight years after losing her.

My 20s were a nightmare.

As the one child who was home at the time I got a front row seat to the deteriation of my dad’s life. This started even before my mom’s passing. But all of that is a story for another time.

Our focus here are the events that happened after September 16th 2014.

To say that my eldest sister and I always had a not so great relationship would be pretty accurate. Three years after I was born she brought my oldest nephew into the world. Talk about things being a little bit confusing.

Everyone thought he was my little brother and could never grasp how we were related. It was an interesting time going to the same elementry school, and at times, even living in the same house.

She, understandably, never wanted a little sister. She was past that age. It didn’t help that my mom was sick in my early years. When I was two she had her…

--

--

Amanda Bussman

If you're looking for a writing coach and someone who is working through generational trauma, you've come to the right place. OH! I hope you like Taylor Swift!