Discussing the Age Gap

Amanda Bussman
6 min readDec 11, 2023
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Less than a month before my fourth birthday I became an aunt.

For many of the children I attended school with, this was incomprehensible. You can’t be an aunt if you’re a child. Children don’t understand that concept. They figured he was my cousin or my brother.

My oldest nephew and I didn’t get along when I was little.

I’m pretty sure I hated him.

To understand any of this, explaining a little bit of my background is necessary. It’s a lot simpler than you might think.

My hope with this piece is to help the family's black sheep to know they aren’t alone. That family is difficult. Sometimes they aren’t always the people you feel the most comfortable with.

Disclaimer Before We Begin

My story is unique to me.

Not all age gaps with siblings work out horrendously. In my case, my parents were very different people than they were when they had my siblings. I had a different relationship with them.

When it comes to my sisters and I, the gap between us doesn’t work. We are very different people.

For me, this is something that has had a negative impact.

I know, all siblings fight. There will always be a little bit of strife. My story remains unique and complicated.

If you would like to share the story of your own siblings in the comments I would love to hear them.

A Traumatic Age Gap

The question that typically comes first when I talk about the age gap between my sisters and me, is if it was a second marriage. The other assumption is that I was an accident.

Neither one of these questions or assumptions is true.

My parents were 18 when my oldest sister was born. They were thrown into marriage because that’s what was right in the 70s I suppose. Two years later they had two children and (from my understanding) a kind of rocky start.

After two turbulent pregnancies that resulted in losses, I was born 14 and 12 years after their first two. Lucky them, right?

Them, maybe. My sisters, I don’t believe having a younger sister was so much of a…



Amanda Bussman

If you're looking for a writing coach and someone who is working through generational trauma, you've come to the right place. OH! I hope you like Taylor Swift!