Don’t Feel Guilty for Not ”Fixing It”

Amanda Bussman
3 min readJan 1, 2022
Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

2022 brings along with it plenty of new opportunities. It’s a time for growth and change. It’s time to begin anew and set some goals for ourselves.

However, how do we set some goals if 2021 is still a challenge?

Is there anyone else facing the difficulties that 2021 left behind? If you are. I want to hear about yours while I share mine.

Family Was My Biggest Struggle

I’ve written in regards to this before. In 2021 I left behind a bad situation. I moved from one sister’s house to another. After years of struggling, things just weren’t working anymore. Living in that home was costing me my mental health.

We are constantly conditioned to believe that family is everything.

What happens when that familial connection is what is broken? Whare we supposed to do then?

I’m not going to claim to have the answers to this. This topic is one that everyone must deal with independently. What I want to do is to provide you with my personal outlook. To see how I’m dealing with my own situation.

My hope, is that it will help someone else not feel alone in their situation.

Understanding Isn’t Easy

One of the hardest things is knowing that no one else is going to get it.

Just yesterday I had my sister say to me, “You two really need to fix things. We feel like we don’t have a family,” I can’t explain how crushing that was.

It isn’t as easy as “fixing things”

The trauma that was caused was over a period of time. It was a slow build-up where things that were said were not okay. Actions weren’t taken and I felt like I meant nothing. It was a build-up of damaging mental health.

It isn’t as if I came to this decision on a whim. It was not done lightly. I have agonized over the ending result for months. It came to the point where if I put in any more effort just to be hurt further and demeaned I wouldn’t be alright right now.

We aren’t made to “fix things” for other people. Not when the value at stake is our own mental health.

Amanda Bussman

If you're looking for a writing coach and someone who is working through generational trauma, you've come to the right place. OH! I hope you like Taylor Swift!