I Haven’t Written in Years
I wish it was that simple because that statement isn’t quite true. I’ve written. I’ve posted on medium and my fictional pieces in other places. That’s not the writing I’m talking about.
The writing I’m talking about is scriptwriting. It’s what I decided I wanted to go to school for. The thing that I decided I wanted to do with my life years ago. I wanted to express myself in written word. Wanted to be able to help others with situations I was going through myself.
I want to know where that went.
At the same time, I think I know exactly where it went. I lost all focus and confidence in myself. I gave up trying to unlock any of my potential and decided to …be. It’s the worst thing I could have possibly done.
Settling is not an option and I don’t know how I forgot that. It’s been in my face for years, the fact that I don’t have the means to just settle for less than what I want the most. It’s not fair to myself or the future that I want. It’s not like doing that will get me anywhere.
I need to fight harder to pull down the wall and the block that I put up. I’m not entirely sure how to do this yet. I don’t know how to find myself again or even where I went in so many words.
I just know that I can’t continue the trajectory that I’m on.
