Your Thanksgiving Table Will Change: That’s Okay

Amanda Bussman
3 min readNov 22, 2023
Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

Traditionally, Thanksgiving is a time spent with family. In the media, we see these large gatherings with family and extended family sitting around a giant bird. Your mother slaves away making the meal, and your father cuts the turkey. Everything goes by the book. After all, that’s tradition, right?

The illusion that you’re supposed to spend these holidays only with the people you have a blood connection to isn’t correct.

It’s time to dismiss the notion that the only family you have are the people you are born to. There are many cases in which this doesn’t work. Blood is not always what makes your space complete and comfortable.

Learning to accept that found family is just as valid as blood relations is a cornerstone of that. Let’s take a moment to talk about this further.

Some Situations Just Aren’t Meant to Be

Simply stated, not all families continue to get along. Sometimes what you’re born into isn’t what grows with you. It’s no one’s fault, things change, people change and that is okay.

It isn’t often enough that we hear it’s okay.

If you have had problems or trauma in your past with blood relatives it’s okay to let go. It is okay to step away and create something healthy for you.

You have no obligation to stay in a situation that isn’t right for you. There is no one who is going to be able to change that. The guilt that is pressed upon you is unnecessary and you don’t have to feel bad for making a change that benefits you.

Your life is too short and too valuable to stay in a situation that isn’t right for you. You’re okay to let go and find where you belong.

Loss Hangs Heaviest on the Holidays

Let’s face it, goodbye always comes before we’re ready to say it. Letting go of our loved ones can take an emotional toll around the holidays. Perhaps you’re someone who has felt the hand of loss and is alone as a result of that.

You often want to isolate yourself in these moments. You have the false sense that you’re intruding on someone else’s family.



Amanda Bussman

If you're looking for a writing coach and someone who is working through generational trauma, you've come to the right place. OH! I hope you like Taylor Swift!